You Are Unique, NOT Special!

The sense of SPECIAL breeds superstition, conspiracy theories & caste-ism.

The above picture is from a popular TV show, where the audience claps when the anchor makes an entry. I have the habit of pausing and observing such response shots to understand how each audience member reacts to what they see and hear. To me, the reactions on the faces appear as though water splashing on different roughnesses of rock surfaces. The mere entry of the anchor invokes various responses in each individual depending on the expectations they hold within them.

Even though the presented situation is the same, we all respond with our peculiarities and nuances. The peculiarities is what we celebrate as our individuality or personality. We make elaborate efforts such as dress, ornaments, money, and education to accentuate our peculiarities that enable not just to differentiate from others, but elevate from others. Though it appears such efforts to heighten our peculiarities as natural and healthy but lot of its side effects are detrimental to us and society.

The starting point of the derailing process begins with considering our peculiarities with ‘special’ status to ourselves. Having a good voice or fair skin color we consider a gift of god and we feel ‘special’ and chosen-one to get that ‘special’ status.

Unique implies standing alone. Special implies standing in a group. There is a constant sense of fear standing alone. However great unique talent we may have, we do not want isolation in any form. At the top of the pyramid, a CEO or a leader feels lonely as the responsibility lies entirely on him. It is the loneliness that pushes him to join the CEOs club. IIT, Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, Religion, and caste are some of the clubs we try to get into as a safeguard from fear of being alone. Joining such clubs is good and healthy but we continue to make the earlier mistake of heightening the peculiarities of the club and creating special status or taking refuge in the special status of the club.

SUPERSTITION

Forming a club is a kind of huddling we do when we are afraid. Fear is the common denominator. Most of us won't even acknowledge our fear. We often lack clear emotional honesty to ourselves. Instead of finding a solution to the fear, we often resort to hiding the fear by making brave pretensions. We want to surround ourselves with the fortress of people with similar pretensions. Once the fortress is formed we then start to accentuate the peculiarities with ‘special’ status. The fact is that once the initial fear is allayed there is no need for the huddle at all. But since we formed the club, we do not want to disband it so easily. Instead we perpetuate the fear for the sake of retaining the club. Even worse we find ways to generate more fear so that the club sustains its membership. Superstitions are primarily meant to propagate fears and not knowledge. Superstitions will make the club run together. White & white is mandatory. Some clubs make caps and masks mandatory. Some clubs ask you to draw something on your forehead. Some horizontal lines. Some clubs prefer vertical lines.

Whatever the good practices of a club, once ritualized, carried forward as superstition unless adapted to the changing realities.

CONSPIRACY THEORY

Conspiracy theories go a step ahead. Conspiracy theories appear to have an intention of delivering knowledge and insight. However, they have one common theme which is ‘CONTROL’. Conspiracy theories always provide the knowledge of how someone has taken control and gives a tacit suggestion how to resist such control. Through such resistance they make an attempt to form rebellious club. So, conspiracy theories are an invitation, pitch to switch from one club to another.

This writing itself is a form of conspiracy theory, suggesting you to inspect your assumptions. You have to decide whether it is enslaving you or liberating you.

There are advantages of being in a club. As long as we are aware of our own needs and the benefits we get, it is OK to be part of the club. We often praise others and make them ‘special’ to get our things done, more so with opposite gender. It is healthy only to an extent. To some extent it is understandable that we are vulnerable to others praise and get fooled by them. How can we praise ourselves and fooled by ourselves?

We should not be with a club out of habit. If we aren’t even aware that there exist a club, we end up like a fish in a puddle. The addiction of being special blinds us to see the big picture. With right awareness it is OK to change clubs or at least change the club rules.

Those who subscribe to conspiracy theories completely believe that ‘they are being controlled’ or ‘they have to take control’. They also firmly believe that people who control, enjoy ‘special’ status and benefits and hence they aspire for ‘special’ treatment. Extending further, they believe “if I had created a poem or a Biriyani, I was also created by someone and both should be acknowledged and credited”.

There is a flow, and control is part of the flow. By giving up the special status, or at least being aware of it, you flow with control instead of trying to control the flow itself.

CASTE-ISM

Caste-ism is an interesting form of ‘special’ status. When we lookup to some one above we tend to imply that there has to be some one below too. When we score average mark in school exam we look for some one who scored less and feel comfortable. If there is light there has to be dark. By assigning ‘special’ status to ourselves, we tend to create a ‘not-so-special’ category to which we don’t belong.

If you consider everyone as unique as yourself, even God will not come under special category. There is no one above or below you. If the diamonds are there everywhere on the road why would you consider diamonds are special. Only when you give respect and patience to yourself you will come to understand and come to terms with the fact that you are the God and it is up to you to act.

It all reduces to how to make use of other’s uniqueness that compliment your uniqueness, just like a blind man carrying along a crippled, for the task that you consider it as RIGHT for all.

To be completed…